Advice on section of my book?

Your story is intriguing. At first I thought that your narrator was a slave in the pre-Civil War South, so I was a bit surprised to discover that he is an elf! Having read the Harry Potter series, however, I can reconcile his being an elf with that sort of fantasy. In critiquing your writing, I must tell you that you need to select a tense and stay with it. Most of what you've posted is written in present tense, which is more difficult to maintain than is past tense, thus occasionally you do slip into that more familiar tense. Where you've written "whom's life...", you should write whose life. Where you write "bares witness...", the term needed is bear witness. However, I do think that you've written the beginning of a possibly original story, one worth continuing. Take the time to do some editing and correcting, then resume writing the story which you are imagining. See how it goes. Good luck!